she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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