no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
