Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
