May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
