Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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