So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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