Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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(813): View more from Florida

So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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(301): View more from Maryland

Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat

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(815): View more from Illinois

My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple

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(248): View more from Michigan

We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?

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(510): View more from California

Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.

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