dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
