OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.