I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
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Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃