Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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(239): View more from Florida

Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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(716): View more from New York

After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.

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