Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog