Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
