fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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