Just mADE A PArabola og urine
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
