College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize