Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Even my vagina gasped.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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