I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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