A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
"it" just moved
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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