I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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