Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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