The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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