Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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