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New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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