Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The ass gains better be worth it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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