Kareoke will never be a sober sport
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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