I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
