I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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