What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
