he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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