Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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