Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
