you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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