I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
