haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
