in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
