so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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