I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Houston, we have a blender
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
