Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
