I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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