I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
id be glad to
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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