idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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