Buhtt sex?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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