All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
