idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
