Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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