Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I touched a dick in church today
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
