Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
