My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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