Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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