My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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