Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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