another moral hangover. fuck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
