I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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