He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
