One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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