He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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