i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
