How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
