Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
