i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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