It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
