She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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