Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
